Bridal Shower: Tradition And The Stories

Wedding is one of the most important thing in everyone’s life, especially for women. It is not all about two people having a new life together, but also two family become one. You know what is also important beside wedding? Yes, the bridal shower!

Well…not all people thing that bridal shower is important, especially here in my country Indonesia. But, I think it is become important and something that people wrote in their list.


Photo credit: High Tea for Alice

Do you know? Bridal shower is not a pop culture (maybe for some Indonesian people, it’s a #trending). It was custom originated in the 1890’s, and very common in The United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

The early story about tradition is said when a poor woman’s family might not have money to provide a dowry for her. While, another tale also said that when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not accepted the marriage. The bride-to-be’s friends, will gather together and bring their gifts, which replace the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice. For me, it is basically a feminist movement. Women stick together to defend their fellow women. It is a bold statement!


Photo credit: TwentyTwo

Things that you have to know when organizing a Bridal Shower:

Host and Guests — Close friends of the bride or bridesmaids, usually are the one who will host the party. Other family members such as mother or sisters, do not host a bridal shower. The reason is because it may seen as rude and greedy for family to ask for gifts for their own members. But, they still can come as a guest.

In Indonesia; mother, sisters, or other family members do not attend bridal shower party. Only close friends of the bride that come. I think…this is because we sometimes have different vibe of relation between family members and friends. We can be more free to talk and open up about something with best friends, better than with family. Besides that, my culture also have tradition that a women should play decent wife role to her husband. After married, the wife will have very limited free time with her friends. That is why, Bridal Shower in Indonesia became more like last time hangout together with girl friends.

Invitation — Intan Kemala Sari at Wolipop Detik.Com said that there is a bridal party in Canada which invited around 250 until 300 guests. The party also was so big and fancy. Because of that, invitation is needed. The invitation usually sent by email or traditional mail post (quoted from tweet).

In Indonesia, invitation is not needed. The number of guests in the party are only limited. There will be only close friends of the bride, and the number is not much. All guests are very close to each other. They might have conversation or chat every day, therefore no need for formal invitation.

No Male Guests — Traditionally, there only female guests allow in the party. Like I said before, it is a feminist movement. In some countries, there might be some new changes. They allowed male guests from the groom to celebrate together.

In Indonesia, it seems like we still hold the old tradition. We still celebrate it only with female guests.

Gifts — Old tradition literally means that the bride shower with gifts in the party from her friends. They usually give household appliances, or other related needs that will support the bride in her new life as wife.

In Indonesia, we have different understanding. We do not give gift in the Bridal Shower party. Gift will be given in the wedding party.


Last Friday, one of my coworker experienced a different kind of bridal shower from my office mates. Her name is Aminah Sadio. We called her Ina, and she will be married on May 29th. Without any plan, any invitation, and any gifts; we decided to trow her a surprise bridal shower.


Her eyes was blind folded. The other girls done her hair, put some weird make up, and gave her the name tag “Mrs. Wijaya to be”.



Me, Mbak Ocha (our Accounting Assistant Manager), and Dessy (HR Assistant Manager); took a picture with the lovey bride-to-be.


 After that, the whole office mates, took a picture with the bride-to-be. I forgot! There was one male office member also join in this surprise bridal shower. His name is Oji. He works as Promotion Staff.

I think, Ina still happy even though we made her looked like that. She will have a wedding next week, which one of the happiest moment in her life. She also said thank you for all the love and support that she got during the surprise bridal shower.

Gosh, I hope I do not have to look like that in my own Bridal Shower!



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